Babyloss in Lockdown
Sadly, the death of a baby is not a rare tragedy: in 2018, 14 babies died before, during or just after birth every day in the UK. Related training for health professionals isn’t always adequate and parents whose hopes and happiness have just been shattered do need a sensitive explanation as to why their baby died, as well as ongoing support.
In August 2020 the APPG (All-Party Parliamentary Group) on Baby Loss held a virtual meeting focused on the impact of COVID-19 on pregnancy and baby loss. They heard evidence from organisations who support women and partners who experience loss at any stage: from miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy and molar pregnancy, to termination of pregnancy due to fetal anomaly, to stillbirth, to neonatal death, through to sudden unexpected death in infancy up to 12 months. The evidence was striking; COVID-19 has aggravated existing challenges, and has had a negative impact on the experience of women, partners and their families at the worst possible time of their lives.
Because of the COVID restrictions in hospitals, partners have been excluded from appointments and scans and this has led to women having to for instance, make the hardest of decisions on their own. We have also heard reports of how, when hearing the worst news of their lifetime - that their baby died - these women haven't had the support of their partners, friends or families. Some key staff, such as health visitors, have also been redeployed during the pandemic and this means women cannot always access the services they need. Scans have been cancelled, and mothers worrying about baby’s movements have told us they were sent away from hospital. All these new circumstances only exacerbate the already desperate situation for women.
We here at Muma Nurture recognise the increased pressure that health services have faced during the pandemic, but want to empathise the importance of mental health support - generally and at this moment in time - as well as offer our services.
Grief following the unexpected death of your child is an enormously intense and enduring experience. The loss can bring up a wide range of emotions, including guilt and anger. Not everyone will need or want professional help and the support of family, friends or talking to other parents who have been through a similar loss, may be enough. At this moment in time, we are all restricted to mostly seeing people online and some women's friends and families may not all be 'Zoom-literate', again adding to their isolation at a time when they may need contact and support more than ever.
At Muma Nurture, we understand what you are going through and are here for you. If your baby died, it is important that you get the support that is right for you. Many people benefit from having counselling.
Your child dying is something you never ‘get over’; it stays with you forever. But, with the right help, you could learn to cope with everyday life and maybe even to think about your baby without the overwhelming and paralysing devastation that was there when she first died.
The therapeutic relationship – that between a counsellor and the client – is very different from that of friends, colleagues or family members. The counsellor’s room is a space where you can just be yourself and talk about anything and everything on your mind, without worrying about feeling guilty of ‘burdening’ anyone with your heavy thought. The therapeutic hour when you see your counsellor, is just yours and you use it as you choose. The counsellor is there just for you, to offer an empathic and genuine listening ear, without judgment
At Muma Nurture, we are keeping up to date with the latest advice in this ever-changing situation and, although we can't (wo-)man our office, we are still offering our services online.
If you would like to explore your feelings around losing your baby, please contact Muma Nurture and we’ll arrange for you to talk to one of our qualified counsellors - by phone or video chat.
We are here to help.
Call us on 01323 325558 or email us email@example.com