In the UK, we have now been in lockdown for over four weeks and those among us who are well, are only going out for food, health reasons or other essentialities. Going out or not, there are many people in the world feeling very lonely. The added worry about the reason for all of this, COVID-19 - actually catching it ourselves or for one of our dear ones to catch it - is understandably anxiety-provoking for so many of us.
When you have lost a child, anything baby-related, like seeing pregnant women, babies, or playgrounds, can trigger you into sadness and despair, even at the best of times... With all that is currently going on in the world, i.e. at the worst of times, we understand that things may be feeling very difficult for you - you may be struggling to cope - and we want you to know that we at Muma Nurture are here for you.
Speaking to several women who have at some point in their lives, lost a child, my understanding is that, whereas you will never get over your child dying, you will always miss them and what could have been, you will eventually find a way of living your life without your child physically being with you. You will feel joy and meaningfulness again.
It is absolutely vital however, that you take the time you need, that you let yourself grieve your loss and that you do what you need to do, in order to do this. Self care is of utmost importance. Connecting with other parents in the same situation seems to offer a feeling of togetherness, of not being alone and of being completely understood. Many parents find support groups and/or counselling helpful. A counsellor facilitates a safe space for you to talk, cry, poor your heart out and/or just sit...whatever you need; the time you spend with your counsellor is yours and they offer a non-judgmental, empathic listening ear.
In these unprecedented times and, even if you never considered counselling before, why not give it a try? At Muma Nurture we are keeping up to date with the latest advice in this rapidly changing situation and, although we can't (wo)man our office, we are still offering our services online.
If you would like to explore your feelings around losing your baby - or indeed any loss - please contact Muma Nurture and we’ll arrange for you to talk to one of our qualified counsellors - by phone or video chat.
We are here to help!