As Mothering Sunday is approaching, some of us prepare to shower our mum with cards, flowers, chocolates or maybe a personal gift; some among us will be lucky to receive some or all of this from our own children; others, however, may be dreading Sunday, as it may bring about sadness in regards our late mother, or because it will be an un-necessary reminder of a child that we lost. By saying un-necessary, I only mean that a mother whose child died does not need a reminder; her child will always be at the forefront or at the back of her mind, with or without reminders.
I spoke to one bereaved mum about the first Mother's Day without her child (who had died 8 months before, at the age of 15). She said she'd thought she had prepared herself for the onslaught of emotions - sadness - beforehand, by coming off all social media. When driving around town on Mother's Day however, she realised it was all around: petrol stations, florists, shop windows - everywhere blared out “Happy Mother’s Day.” Turning on the radio for distraction, she continued, was even more painful: The presenter spoke about his own mother, and his listeners were calling in to request songs for theirs.
If you are grieving and dreading Sunday, I'd suggest you plan every hour of it. Whether you're going out or if the plan is to stay in and hide from the world, imagine what you will feel like and plan it. If you do not want to see anyone you know, why not practice some self care?
Don't end up with Sunday taking you by surprise, but make sure you are prepared.
Sometimes the things we fear the most end up having much less of an impact.
Your child dying is something you never ‘get over’; it stays with you forever. But, with the right help, you could learn to cope with everyday life and maybe even to think about your child without the overwhelming and paralysing devastation that you may have experienced at some point - or all the time. It doesn't matter if she died last week or 40 years ago; we are all unique and experience loss differently; we all have different coping mechanisms.
At Muma Nurture, we provide hypnotherapy (which works on the subconscious to change negative thinking, encouraging more positive thoughts and self-support), reflexology (a nurturing treatment that can help bring your body systems back into a state of balance) and
Counselling, a one-to-one, talking therapy.
We are here to offer an empathic and genuine listening ear, without judgment - and or suitable holistic therapies - Call or email us today, we are here to help