Self-esteem and baby loss

Losing a baby is one of the hardest things we will ever experience and, for most people, something we never ‘get over’. With the right help however, we could learn to cope with everyday life and maybe even to think about our baby without the overwhelming and paralysing devastation that was there when she first died; it is very important that we get the support that is right for us, wherever we're at.

As many who have experienced loss know, grief can be a complicated process and no two people experience exactly the same thing. A common side effect that many people seem to share however, is the loss of self-esteem. Many of the recognised causes of low self-esteem are related to the loss of a loved one. The lack of control over the death of our baby, can bring on a sense of powerlessness and general anxiety about the future, life and death.

When we lose a child, we may feel we've lost the purpose of our life; we may feel lost and no longer needed. Our self-esteem may also be affected because we feel we are not "getting over" it or "moving on" quickly enough.

Low self-esteem can manifest itself in many ways: self-destructive behaviour (like excessive drinking or risk-taking), negative thoughts about ourselves or withdrawing from family, friends or community, to mention a few.

If you would like to explore your feelings around self-esteem after losing a baby - whether it was 40 years ago, or just recently - please contact Muma Nurture and we’ll arrange for you to see one of our qualified counsellors.

The therapeutic relationship – that between a counsellor and the client – is very different from the one between friends, colleagues or family members. The counsellor’s room is a space where you can be yourself and talk about anything on your mind, without worrying about feeling guilty of ‘burdening’ anyone. The therapeutic hour when you see your counsellor, is just yours and you use it as you choose. The counsellor is there just for you, to offer an empathic and genuine listening ear, without judgment.

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