Sadly, the death of a baby is not a rare tragedy. In 2018, 14 babies died before, during or just after birth, every day in the UK. Related training for health professionals isn’t always adequate and parents whose hopes and happiness have just been shattered do need a sensitive explanation as to why their baby died, as well as ongoing support.
Grief following the unexpected death of your child is an enormously intense and enduring experience, which can turn into long-term depression and you may struggle to get out of bed in the morning; you find lots of things triggering and like you're constantly close to tears. Loss can also be the catalyst for any unresolved problems coming back to the fore and bringing about a wide range of emotions, including guilt and anger. Not everyone will need or want professional help and the support of family, friends or talking to other parents who have been through a similar loss, may be enough. Many people however, do benefit from having counselling, which is a talking therapy.
Your child dying is something you never ‘get over’; it stays with you forever. But, with the right help, you could learn to cope with everyday life and maybe even to think about your baby without the overwhelming and paralysing devastation that was there when she first died; it is very important that you get the support that is right for you.
The therapeutic relationship – that between a counsellor and the client – is very different from that of friends, colleagues or family members. The counsellor’s room is a space where you can be yourself and talk about anything and everything on your mind, without worrying about feeling guilty of ‘burdening’ anyone. The therapeutic hour when you see your counsellor, is just yours and you use it as you choose. The counsellor is there just for you, to offer an empathic and genuine listening ear, without judgment.
If you would like to explore your feelings around losing your baby, please contact Muma Nurture and we’ll arrange for you to see one of our qualified counsellors. We are here to help!