Grief can come in so many different forms and can be expressed in so many different ways depending on the person. You may want to cry, shout, scream, or just lock yourself away from the world. I think the hardest deaths are those that are unexpected and seem unfair.
Men and women often grieve very differently, and different ways of dealing with the same grief can cause problems between a couple, rather than solidarity and understanding as you may have expected.
It may be that women; want to talk about the baby with as many people and as often as possible, be more emotional, cry or get angry a lot, are more likely to ask friends and family for help.
Possibly men; grieve by themselves, don't like talking about loss and subsequently spend more time at work or do things away from home to avoid it, feel like they are meant to be strong and protect the family, don't know how to show their feelings , don't ask for help.
These are very stereotypical responses and may or may not be relevant to you and or your partner. The reality is grief is hard, losing a baby is hard, and we all do it very differently and not necessarily very well.
Often, we have conflicting messages from our support network who tell us we are 'coping well' when we are not coping at all, or expressing any emotions. Actually, it would be far more emotionally healthy to be expressing all the emotions we were feeling, however haphazard and all over the place they are.
Baby loss and grief they are not 'normal' experiences though, there is no right way, you just need to be able to find your way to process your emotions, accept your loss and move more positively forward with your life.
We unerstand this is nowhere near as simple as it sounds and that often support is needed to achieve this. If that is the case for you, we are here to help.